I feel like absolute CRAP….good by good times, hello depression….
You dont have to read this, I just need to get this out…..
I guess the depression trying to set back, I feel like such crap…I have spent the last weeks working out 3 times a day, keeping my cals in check, drinking tons of water….but no loss, just the same numbers on the scale every week, I think I have lost like 4 pounds in an entire month…..ya the depression is trying to find its way back into my life, and I dont know if I can stop it again…..
A part of me wants to just be happy that I made it to size 12, but the rest of me refuses to be happy with that….I look down at my body and for some reason I hate the way it looks just as much as I did when I was almost 300 pounds….everything is all saggy, every thing is all wrinkly with loose skin even my ass!!!!!! my thighs are still fat, I have stretch marks every where, and all I want to do is cry, every day…..
Why did I ever put myself in this position, why did I ever let myself go and get so fucking fat….I will never be able to be happy with this body and it is totally sucking for me to realize that……all the work I have done on getting rid of my depression and self loathing feels like it was for nothing, because still it hides in my mind and comes out and slaps me in the face….I hate feeling like this, I hate the fact I am weak and let this boohoo crap get the best of me…..I just dont know what to do…..
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Hey girl,
its been a while huh.
Look, we all have those day ok. Where we are not happy with anything. Some days I look in the mirror and then, hey pretty good and other days I see an old hag. On those days it is hard and it does make me upset.
As for the loose skin, that is my biggest fear on this journey. I’m sure we are not the only one who fear this.
Hang on tight girl–its a bad spot, but hopefully it will ease up quickly. Sending hugs…
First off….I want to remind you of how far you have come. You are an inspiration to me. You eat well, you exercise and enjoy it and you’ve lost tons of weight, and went from a size 24 to a size 12! Now remember that you and I began this journey around the same time. Where am I sitting? I’ve lost 23 pounds and went from a size 20 to an 18. You’ve totally kicked my ass! As for the depression, I don’t know if there is a recent issue causing it or if it is something you struggle with. I struggle with it and I am now taking Lexapro. It has done me wonders. Please, if you feel really bad, see your doc. I love you girl…I miss seeing you on here so much, like I used to. Love yourself, take care of yourself. Big hugs, Leah.
Like I told Nancy –
Girl, don’t be so DOWN on yourself. Know what???? You will ALWAYS find something wrong with yourself, even at 400 lbs, 250, or 90 pounds! There’s always something we find on ourselves that we don’t like until we ACCEPT who we are! Maybe you’re just not at that phase yet in your journey, but you surely are getting there! Take a small break and start thinking again of why you first started this journey and what it means to you. We all know the answer to that question! Girl, you’re pretty, amazingly beautiful and smart and those are the IMPORTANT qualities of you that matter the most, especially to your children! Yes, saggy parts here and there but know what, boo hoo to those to get lipo and tucks — cause eventually the sag WILL come back cause we age! (((((hugs))))) Love ya girl, and you need to start seeing yourself the way we all see you! OK!!!!! So go cry a bit, take a long bubble bath and go pamper yourself, and just get back on! Cause the journey isn’t over! It isn’t only about losing weight girl, but about accepting ourselves how we are! We can’t achieve the perfect image we aim to look like, it’s just impossible!!! But at least strive to be healthy and work on being comfortable in your own natural body God blessed you with, because it’s beautiful! xox
Leah, you have done amazing. You are such a pretty sweet, and talented woman. You are beautiful inside and out. Come on here and vent it out, but know how awesome you are. We all have the sags, and wrinkles, but you know what? We are so much healthier!!
Hey girl, you are doing so great. And you are truely amazing with all your hard work you are now half the size you were when you began. I can understand depression but keep your head up. I have been dealing with my share of depression and I’m trying very hard to come out of it!