Well hello my oh so Special and Beautiful Buddies!!!! Happy Easter, I hope you all have a nice visit from the Easter Bunny, and hopefully he isnt to evil to you, by bringing too much chocolate with him!
Ahhhh I am just so freaking excited, I mean, WoW, OnederLand is just right in front of my face!!!! I mean I just CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!!! I spent so many years just under 300 pounds, this was something I figured would just be completely and utterly Impossible…… but here I am, facing it, pinching myself along the way, just to make sure I am really awake…I walk by a mirror and have to do a double take to make sure that is me, almost sounds concieted I know, but I am still kind of in a shock. And I am oh so very Focused on my goals now, I mean seriously focused!The kind of focus that forces you to have will power, the kind of will power I thought was only in happily ever after stories. now I get to look forward to my own!
Most of my days for the last month as I look through my food journal, most of the days my cal’ intake barely hits 1400, with an average of 1200…and now its like a lifestyle for me, I dont find myself in silent battles with the kitchen and it contents. like I did at the beginning of this journey. No more being conquered by my own depression and then spiraling into a self induced pit of hell…I feel like as I have shed the pounds, I have shed my outer shell and the real me is stepping out, the me that loves the way the old me wished she could, the new me that smiles for real and not just for show, the real me that is Happy with herself instead of disgusted and full of self loathing. This journey is an amazing one, at first it was really hard for me, hard to break away from the lifestyle that kept me trapt in darkness, but deep inside us all is that part that screams to be let out, to be happy and to love, I let her out. If you feel like anything that I have, set yourself free, only you can let yourself out!
One of the things that has helped so much, that I tell myself a lot, I wanted to share with you, just incase it will help any of you like it did me….I tell myself~
‘You wouldnt shove junk food and crap down your kid’s throat until they were fat and then beat them up verbally and emotionally, no you would never do that! You would never do that to anyone you love, not your special pets, not your friends (well maybe one or two of your friends, hehe just kidding) So why would you ever do it to yourself!”
I was so tired of beating myself up, feeling down and bad about everything I did, never feeling good enough for anyone or anything. Break out of that self imposed prison! I dont need it, you dont need it….we need love and it starts inside and then radiates through all of your life like the rays of the warm sun!
This year is our year my Beautiful Buddies!!! Our year to grab on to our lives, live life to the fullest, keep on living, loving and dreaming!!!
Cheers to you, to us and to OnederLand!!!!!
Peace, Hugz and Dreams,
♥~Leah~♥
My Web Site~http://www.geocities.com/midnight_dreamer_studio/midnightdreamerstudio.html
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