leahmarie

Just felt like getting on here and jotting down all that I have been inspiring myself with lately

My Reasons why I love Exercise….

*You get to move that body and realize you ARE Alive!

*You get to feel the burn and see the sweat and you know you are Accomplishing something!

* It elevates your mood and helps get rid of depression.

* It gives you more energy, you better believe it!

* It slaps TOM in the face and helps with cramps.

*It helps you sleep better at night.

* It BURNS CALORIES!!!!

*It brings your confidence back every day you move your body.

*It gives you some valuable ME time.

*It makes sex better, longer, and funner… oh ya!

*The more you do the more you can do, no more being out of breathe because of a few stairs.

*It is one of the most valuable steps to a healthy life style.

*It helps with stress, big time!

All that is enough to get me up and moving my body! Getting that blood pumping really brings your whole body back to life, after spending so many years as a stay at home mom/coach potato/computer junky , this exercising every day has really got me changing my life for the better! I feel lazy if I only I get in one 45 minute work out a day!

Here are some of my own tips I live by when it comes to food and portion control

*Always use a smaller plate, you can only put so much on those small tea cup plates

*Fill up your plate with veggies first.

*For all you salsa lovers, replace salad dressings with salsa.

*Switch out ground beef for ground turkey, its easier for the body to digest.

*Learning portion control is waaaaayyyyyy cheaper than any lap band/bypass surgery.

*Water, water, water…

*If you dont know whats in it, do NOT eat it!

*Fresh and real is way better than imitation and processed.

*When Shopping, Skip pass the junk food/ice cream isles singing ‘La La La I cant hear you calling my name’

*If its not in your house, you dont have to worry about it.

*Anything you can put in a sandwich, tortilla, or pita goes great on a salad!

*Less going in the mouth equals more pounds going off my ass.

These rules work for me, glad I got them down so I cant ever forget them! Hope you can take a few and add them to your lists! Now one thing I see a lot of wonderful buddies doing on here is making a list of why they wanna lose weight, I figure since I am doing up some lists today I will add that one too, it is so great to keep around a reminder of what you are doing and why

*I want to gain control of my body, health and life.

*I want to remember who ME is.

*I dont want to become another fat girl statistic.

*I dont want to be the fat Mom other kids laugh at my kids for.

*I want to feel young again, I am tired of feeling old when I am only 26!

*I want to be on top of my health issues and maybe even make them disapear.

*I want to look as SEXY as I feel inside.

*I dont want to be ashamed to be naked in front of my Hubby anymore.

*I want to feel more comfortable making love to my man.

*I wanna dance and move like I did when I was a teen.

*I want to set a healthy example for my kids, especially my little girl.

*I want to fit into my smallest pants.

*I want my self confidence back!

*I want to be true to myself.

*So I can be my own success story.

*To be my own inspiration and motivation to accomplish all my dreams.

*To prove to myself that I have the Power to change my Life.

So Buddies, always remember why you are here and where it is you want to go! We can do this, all we have to do is believe in ourselves, believe in our futures, we all deserve to be happy, to be happy with ourselves and with our lives!

Love your self every step of the way, this journey isnt a punishment for bad choices, this is  journey is our rode to a brighter and happier future!

I am so glad to be here, I see the changes in myself already, I havent only lost a few pounds, I got rid of the darkness that has hung over me for years!

Hand in Hand we can do this, we can brake down the barriers that are keeping us from our own much deserved happiness, we can reach our gfoals and dance in the shower of our victories!

Look what you guys made me do, I told myself I wouldnt get all sappy, and I did anyway, I cant help myself, you guys mean so much to me!

Peace Always,

Leah♥

© Leah Marie Jaarveth Midnight Dreamer Studio

Good Morning all you beautiful Buddies!

Well it truly is a beautiful day outside today,  looking through the window the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the sky is sparkling blue….then you open the door and the desert’s harsh cold winter wind blows straight through your bones! So I am staying in today hehe!

Well miss Mother Nature finally decided to show up, 5 days late, but ya know usually I get cramps about 5 days before her arrival, none this time around…..see there are benefits to sticking to exercising every day! But the other usual side effects of her visit are around, I wanna laugh and I wanna cry and I wanna yell all at the same time, plus some one, any one, pleeeeeaaaassseeee give me some chocolate ice cream!!!!!!

Ok composure returning, slightly, but seriously I want ice cream so bad, but there isnt even an ounce of chocolate in this house (or anything yummy and goowey, darn it!), and I am not walking out in the cold to get any!

Another wonderful development in my life, that runny nose I was hoping would stay a runny nose, ya well it turned into full blown head and chest cold with a sore throat too, ya just super wonderful I know! But I got on that bike this morning, thinking if I just a get a little work out in it will be good, but I went ahead and did a full on hot and sweaty 35 minutes with my 10 minute cool down, part of me was sooooo hoping I would sweat this stupid cold out! But nooooo, its still here, but life goes on……I kept thinking about weigh in tomorrow for my awesome Wildcats and I just had to go through with my normal routine, the numbers on the scale are still getting smaller so man I am still a happy camper even with my body being very anti-Leah today!

On another note it seems as if my old artistic vision is coming back into the light, I wanted to do pet portraits for people and have done a handful, here are some examples~

Well it seems as if I have another pet lover asking for a portrait, woot!  See I am such an animal lover, and I wanted to use my talents to create portraits of other animal lovers special friends. This time around I will be doing an Irish Setter, Molly, she seems to have so much personality, its always a challenge getting the personality on paper, but thats my favorite part of being an artist!

I really want to get my little Studio up and running, I was thinking about getting business cards done up and leaving them in Vets offices and pet salons ect. Do you guys think I have what it takes to be a professional pet portrait artist? I am a firm believer that Pets make life just that much more special

That is a picture of my Beautiful Ariel, dont let her  cute loveable face fool you, she could totally be a member of the Wildcats! She has her loveable pet me side and then her dark evil, scratch the crap out of you side hehe, thats why I love her soooooo much! But she sleeps next to me purrrring her little heart out every night, how special is that!

SO how are all my wonderful buddies doing today, I hope you all are having a beautiful day! I hope that today is a day full of easy choices and lots of pats on the back! I know the next 3 days are NOT going to be easy for me, TOM will be kickin’ it for the next 3 days….talk about unwanted house guests! But so far so good, after lunch I am still only at 538 cals with a lite dinner planned so we are on track, already got down about 62 ozs of wate, now I am sipping my coffee, cant live with out it!

Funny for hanging out with TOM and being sick, I am in a relatively good mood today….Ya know I really think the exercising every day has improved my mood, I know the depression packed its bags and took off! I think taking control of your life and doing what needs to be done is really empowering to the spirit!

So roll up those sleaves and take back whats yours my friends, first grab that spirit of yours with both hands and give it a big ole hug, then wrap those arms around yourself, its your body, love it, no more abusing it! Let Peace rule, ya I am such a huge hippie at heart!

Always!

Leah♥

I mean seriously….I have never, ever in my life stumbled across so many wonderful, beautiful souls….maybe I just never looked in the right place?!

Every day I get on here, I read your stories, I read your blogs, I read your posts on the forum, I take the time to look at your pages, look at your pictures and ready your profiles and I realise…..I realise I am not alone….and that makes every day that much easier……

I finally am ready to take whatever step I need to take in the right direction, why? Because I finally see there are so many reasons to love myself…..I am 26 (soon to be 27)….I am still considered ‘young’ by so many…..why waste my younger years, why waste them in some self pitty induced hell….I look around me and while I may not be rich in what most people would consider riches, I am so rich in love, I have 3 wonderful children, a man who to this day tells me how wonderful I am, how beautiful I am…..and I have all of you, and even though you may not understand the power behind your words, behind every blog or message you type, each and every one of you are making a difference in my every day….

So I tell you this now, with big ole dragon tears in my eyes….Thank you so MUCH for just being the BEAUTIFUL you!!! You all are the shining stars of hope that I have been reaching out for, for so long….

Yes I belive in miracles, because the Universe is so vast and beautiful beyond words….what many may call God, I call the Universe (please dont misunderstand my Love of all that is) and we are all a part of this ever unfolding beautiful expanse of possiblity…and with all this at our finger tips, why couldnt we shape not only our bodies but our lives….

Please never forget what beautiful, special, and wonderfully unique beings you are, we all are…..I say this with happy tears on my cheek because I finally see, see all of you, and I see all of you in me, we are all on the same path, maybe we all have a different story to tell, but we all are here, looking for comfort, support and knowledge, knowledge is power, we will find the power to change our lives….in a heart beat, in a decision, in a moment of realization….

Thank you for being you, and as you go on your journeys, please, please remember, your not only changing your lives, but as you share and grow you are helping change other lives as well…

I just had to get on tonight to tell you how much  I think of you all, always…together we can over come what seems like the impossible, together we can grow, and together, hand in hand we can reach our goals….

Never forget the power that is behind you, behind all that is….

Peace My friends and good Night….I look forward to a new week, a new chance at reaching another goal, a new chance at over coming challenges,  and another chance at reaching a smaller number on that scale!

Thanks to all of you for making me smile, making me  laugh, and making me realize that I am NOT alone!

I am going to be a success story and so are you!!!!

So off to bed I go tonight, with the warmest of thoughts of you all…in my dreams I know I can heal my soul, please take the time to heal your inner being, so tomorrow we can face the day, with all its temptations…

Until the morning sun shines it’s rays of cleansing light, tomorrow is a new day, the sun will shine down, the birds will sing their ever so sweat songs, and we will all have another chance at happiness!

Sending peace, Always and Forever,

Leah Marie ♥

Thats right, today I took some time to go visit my friend at work, she works at the corner gas station, a 10 minute walk from my house, (since I dont have a vehicle I walk everywhere), I had promised to smoke a ciggy with her on her brake ( I want to eventually quit smoking, but I do make 1 pack last a week), I love this girl, she is a true inspiration to be around, looking all cute and curvey in her size nines, she used to be a 24 once too….anyway on the walk home the early afternoon sun was directly behind me as I walked, so every step I took my shadow was directly in front of me…I was so shoked at first that this was even my shadow, where are all those lumps I was so used to seeing (then I started to remember how I looked as a teen in size 12)?! Now I know that I am not yet super close to my goal, but I am so happy to see the changes that I have really started working hard to achieve.

You know what helps me from snacking and over eating now? I wear my tight jeans and pretend they are my comfy jeans, when you start to eat you feel like you should becareful, having a semi tight belt around your gut really is encouragement to eat less hehe…

I am for once really enjoying this journey, before I use force myself  to face the days and face the food with some type of  bitter resentment…now I face the day with hope, and know that there is a chance for me to do things righ, to keep moving forward to my goal…..and I see the diference, the diference between forcing yourself to do something and taking the time to enoy doing something you want…I hope that you all can look deep inside yourselves, give that inner spirit a hug, and find the well of strenghth inside yourself, it helps you know that you can acheive what ever you desire….

Ok enough rambling, I am just in such a positive mood, I thought that I should share it!

Peace my Friends, so very happy to be on this journey with all of you, you all are so beautiful and such strong spirits, thank you for making my days so much brighter!

Love Always,

Leah♥

For the first time ever I have been doing it, sticking to healthy eating habits and working out every day! I used to think I did not have an ounce of will power in me, but wow, I have totally blown myself away with how well I have been doing, but I can NOT take any spot light because, there is no way I could have done this good with out ALL of YOU!!!!

Every time  I started a ‘diet’ or ‘change’ I always gave up withn the first week…ya pretty sad, but I had no motivation or inspiration or anyone around me going through the same problems….but here I see I am not alone, I see it CAN be done, and now I know with out even a shadow of a doubt that I can do this!!! And believe me if I can feel this way, so can you! You have no idea how bad I used to feel about myself, depression around every corner, I used to really want to do myself in, suicide is so wrong, but I thought about it every day……But  I guess I have seen some kind of ‘Light’…now I am not religious, I can not commit to any organized religion (hopefully none of you mind that about my nature) I believe that anything is possible because our Universe is so vast, so beautiful, so amazing, and we are all apart of it!

I want to share this video with you all, it has changed my life, it still brings tears to my eyes to know that we are here~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcBV-cXVWFw

Ok getting back on my original topic, Tomorrow is weigh in day, now I am so freakin* excited to weigh in and change my weight tracker…I have been sneaking on the scale every day this week and watching it go down, so I cant wait to show you all!

Mother Nature will be visiting me soon, not looking forward to that, but ever since I got the IUD my periods are only 3 days, so I can deal with them a whole lot better than before, so I love my IUD, anyone out there considering birth control, I say talk to your doc about getting one, they last for 5 years, and you dont have to bother taking a pill or anything with terrible side effects.

Alrighty all you Beautiful people, I am off to get in an hour of house cleaning, woohoo

Stay True to yourself, and just know that we can do ths, and we can do it together….

Thank You for Being You!
Peace Always,

Leah♥

Food Log

Exercise Log

So wooot I have rid myself of 2 more pounds…bye bye, dont come back! There will be more leaving soon

What a great way to start 2009, let me tell you I am the happiest I have been in a long long time.  I love this feeling of finally being in control of my body and life…you know I have to admit, the exercising thing is so new and refreshing, and a confession….there have already been a couple times that I did not want to get on that bike, but I got off my ass and did it anyway, just because I knew I would make myself feel bad, I would start thinking of you guys, and I got on and rode and I got off all sweaty, but so happy, and then I tell myself “One more work out under my belt!” If I can get off my ass and work out, then you can too, dont ever feel like you cant, we are all a lot stronger than we think!

I love these cat pics, they remind me of me

So put a smile on your face, because life is beautiful and just waiting for us to grab on, never feel hopeless because, there is Always a tomorrow, the sun will shine, the birds will sing, and its another chance to be true to the beautiful You!

Looking forward to hitting all our mini goals, and getting to our one true goal, cheers to all you beautiful people!

Thanks for stopping by and letting me  ramble at ya

Peace Always,

Leah♥

I have stayed away from hamburgers for so long, I dont even show my face at any fast food restaurants, but one….Del Taco….always a weakness…but instead of splurging on the usual meatless nachos topped with sour cream with a side of DrPepper, I got two fish tacos, they were good and a special treat for stickin’ to my bike work out (usually twice a day) every single day since I got it, well thats only been 7 days, but thats 7 days of sweaty work outs opposed to the never lifting a finger to exercise…but still there were 290 calories per taco, gggrrrr…and of course I had to dip my fingers into hubby’s fries…I wish he would smack my hand away! But instead of the usually soda, I had unsweetened iced tea, which I used to love drinking as a teen…so all in all it wasnt a humongous failure, at least not near like it used to be…but of course as soon as I was home and settled in I did my work out, I always feel so much better about everything after the work outs….

Ya know I was in therapy for years, they always told me exercise would relieve some of the depression….I never believed them, but now I can see how it would….you feel so empowered after working out your body, and then there is that wonderful scene of accomplishment, I recommend it to everyone who has to deal with depression, especially if your are the kind that doesnt stop beating yourself up emotionally and mentally like I used to do non stop every waking moment…This place does wonders for the spirit, having friends like you guys really helps some one believe in themselves!

On another note, I was at Wal Mart (the biggest store in our small town) checkin’ out the clearance section (ya I am cheap   I found these cute knee high sweats for $1, they were size 15/17, I was like what the hell, if they wont fit over my ass today, they will soon…I got home, got up over my ass without stretching them all out, they fit perfectly and I am so happy hehe! And I finally bought the one thing  I could never bring myself to buy…..a scale! So now I am really commited, never again am I going to watch that dial go any higher!

I have a friend who always wears make up ever day, I decided that just for the fun of it, that I am going to wear make up everyday of 2009…2 days in and I am still good hehe…just a fun little challenege, one thing I like about wearing make up is putting it on, when you sit and look in the mirror taking the time to make yourself look and feel pretty, its like you are pampering yourself, taking time to just be with yourself, so ya I feel like a little me time every day sounds awesome.Plus being on the artistic side I always get creative…

Oh I wanted to share some song lyrics with you….this song has helped me heal on so may levels….it helped me realize the heart I had as a child may be gone, but it doesnt have to be forgotten, and I can still be true to myself every day….Time has a way of healing the wounds of yesterday, here is a link to the video ~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7iahMSoIIA

The Heart I Once Had by Nightwish

Heaven today is but a way
To a place I once called home
Heart of a child, one final sigh
As another love goes cold

Once my heart beat to the rhythm of the falling snow
Blackened below, the river now flows
A stream of molten virgin snow

For the heart I’ll never have
For the child forever gone
The music flows, because it longs
For the heart I once had

Living today without a way
To understand the weight of the world
Faded and torn, old and forlorn
My weak and hoping heart

For the child, for the light
For the heart I once had
I’ll believe and foresee
Everything I could ever be

For the heart I’ll never have
For the child forever gone
The music flows, because it longs
For the heart I once had

Time will not heal a Dead Boy’s scars
Time will kill

For the heart I’ll never have
For the child forever gone
The music flows, because it longs
For the heart I once had

May the light of Love fill your spirit and give you the strength to face the world…..

Love Always,

Leah♥